


Autistic Creative Challenge: Second Doctor

by AutisticWriter



Series: Autistic Headcanons [68]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: #redinstead, Ableism, Alternate Universe, Asexual Character, Asexual Doctor (Doctor Who), Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Creative Challenge, Autistic Doctor (Doctor Who), Autistic Second Doctor, Background Zoe Heriot/Isobel Watkins, Baking, Bisexual Male Character, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - CFS/ME, Chronic Illness, Double Drabble, Drabble Collection, Dyspraxia, Dyspraxic Second Doctor, Echolalia, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Food, Friendship, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Second Doctor, Hand Flapping, Harry Potter References, Hats, Homoromantic Asexual Second Doctor, Infodumping, Insomnia, Inspired By Tumblr, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, Massage, Multi, Music, Nonverbal Communication, Pansexual Character, Phone Calls & Telephones, Pride, Second Doctor's Recorder, Sensory Overload, Sensory problems, Sharing a Bed, Sign Language, Silly, Special Interests, Spoon Theory, Stargazing, Stimming, Truth or Dare, Wheelchairs, happiness, puzzle pieces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-29 10:13:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 6,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11438730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: A collection of double drabbles written for uniqueaspergirl's Autistic Creative Challenge. These drabbles focus on the Second Doctor, whom I headcanon as autistic.





	1. #Redinstead

“Where are we, Doctor?” Jamie asks, steering his electric wheelchair out of the TARDIS (and nearly running over Zoe’s feet).

“We’re on Earth, Jamie,” the Doctor says, following him.

“Aye, I know that, but when?”

“Some time in the early twenty first century, I think,” the Doctor says, rubbing his fingers together. “Come on, let’s investigate.”

 

They find themselves in a large green park. The accents of the many people around them tell them they’re in America, and there is blue everywhere. Blue posters, blue signs, blue flyers. And a lot of puzzle pieces. Something seems wrong, but Zoe doesn’t know what.

Behind her, the Doctor has frozen. She wonders if the noise is too much for him, but that isn’t his main problem.

“Autism awareness,” the Doctor mumbles, hunching forwards slightly.

Zoe glances at Jamie, and he looks confused too.

“This is bad. These people are like everyone on Gallifrey. They say autism needs a cure. They hate us.”

“What?” Jamie cries. “That’s terrible!”

“What should we do, Doctor?” Zoe asks, feeling a bit sick.

The Doctor scans the area, and then pulls a red cloth out of his pocket. He looks terrified, but he smiles.

“We wear red.”


	2. Stimming

His hands move.

When he is happy and his hands flap.

When he is scared and his fingers rub together to ground him and keep a meltdown at bay.

When he is so excited he can’t stand still, bouncing up and down on the spot.

When he is running and his coordination fails and his arms flail and flap.

When a noise is too loud and his hands go up to his temples to suppress the discomfort.

When he kisses Jamie and his fingers run through Jamie’s soft hair.

When he and Jamie and Zoe cling together in fear and his hands grip their arms, holding them tightly to keep them safe.

When he plays his recorder and his fingers move and beautiful music fills the room.

Whatever he is doing and wherever he is, the Doctor’s hands are always moving. Sometimes Jamie points this out, but the Doctor knows he isn’t being mean. He is just being silly.

“Aye, I am,” Jamie says, grinning. “I love your hands.”

The Doctor’s face flushes. “Don’t be silly, Jamie.”

“I’m not,” he says. “I’m serious. I love them. I love you.”

And as Jamie kisses him, the Doctor’s hands flap with happiness.


	3. Special Interest

The Doctor adores his recorder. He plays it at least once a day, usually to help himself think or as something to do when he is bored. He also spends ages in the control room, learning old Earth music from the databank. He loves to memorise the music, and Jamie and Zoe love trying to guess the song when the Doctor plays his recorder.

One night, Jamie and the Doctor are struggling to sleep (the Doctor is a bit of an insomniac, and Jamie’s chronic fatigue is making his back hurt horribly), so the Doctor decides to get out his recorder.

“What’re you gonna play?” Jamie mumbles, failing to stifle a yawn.

But the Doctor simply smiles and starts to play a tune. After a few notes, Jamie recognises it. It’s an old Gaelic lullaby, one his mother would sing to him as a child. He can’t remember the words (brain fog), but he hums along, feeling completely peaceful.

“Where’d you learn that?” he asks when the music is over.

“The databank,” the Doctor says, smiling. “I thought I might as well learn a Gaelic song while I was there.”

“Thanks,” Jamie says, and he gives the Doctor a kiss.


	4. Communication

“So, I know what autism is, but can you maybe tell me what it’s like from an autistic perspective?” Zoe asks. The Doctor has just told her that he is autistic, and she would like as much information as possible so she can understand him fully.

“Of course I can,” the Doctor smiles and takes a deep breath. “It’s a developmental disorder, one that affects your brain as you develop and means you think and act differently to non-autistic people. It means social skills are a problem, because they don’t come naturally to me. Try to imagine it as being made to perform in a play, but you’re the only one who hasn’t been given the script. I also have sensory issues, meaning my senses are hypersensitive (although they can also be hyposensitive). This means I can get overwhelmed and get a sensory overload, which can end up as a meltdown if I can’t escape the situation. It also means I stim, which is why my hands never seem to stop moving.”

“Infodump alert,” Jamie says, grinning as he enters the room. The Doctor blushes.

“Does it make more sense now?” he asks Zoe.

She smiles. “It makes perfect sense.”


	5. Freebie

“This was a lovely idea, Jamie,” the Doctor says.

Lying side-by-side on a blanket, the Doctor and Jamie are staring up at the sky. They have landed on a favourite planet of the Doctor’s, one with beautiful landscapes and an even more beautiful view in the night sky. It has seven moons, and comets and shooting starts shoot through the sky, whilst another planet’s rings glint in the light of a faraway star. In short, it is absolutely beautiful.

“Thanks,” Jamie says. “I know you like it here.”

The Doctor smiles, shuffling closer and putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders. Jamie leans his head on the Doctor’s chest, snuggling against his partner. This is so peaceful.

“Look! Another shooting star!” the Doctor cries, pointing up at the sky.

“Doctor, there’s already been twenty tonight,” Jamie says.

“I know,” he says. “But there’s another one.”

Jamie sighs and brushes the Doctor’s hair off of his forehead. “You’re a wee daftie.”

“Go on, then,” the Doctor says, nudging Jamie. “Make a wish.”

Jamie closes his eyes, imagining the shooting star. And then he wishes the same thing he has wished the last twenty times. _I wish we could stay like this forever._


	6. Food

“What the—?” Zoe stammers, walking into the kitchen.

In the few minutes since she left, the Doctor and Jamie have managed to make a complete mess. Someone has split the flour, making the room look like it is snowing. Half of the cake mix is all over the counter, as well as the Doctor’s hands. Jamie has flour in his hair, giving the impression he has gone grey all of a sudden. And they are both laughing... although they stop the instant Zoe speaks.

“What happened here?”

“Blame the dyspraxia,” the Doctor says, and Zoe imagines his clumsy hands knocking the bowl over.

“Aye, and the chronic fatigue,” adds Jamie, whose coordination has been poor ever since he became ill.

They look a bit worried, but Zoe surprises them both by bursting out laughing.

“Honestly, you two,” she says, and she sets about helping them both clear up the mess.

 

* * *

 

Much, much later, the Doctor hands Zoe a slice of the cake and they all sit together in the now clean kitchen. She takes a bite, and, to her amazement, the cake is delicious.

“Well, what’s left of it is very nice,” she says, grinning. “Amazingly.”

The Doctor smiles. “Thanks.”


	7. Spoons

“Spoons?”

“Aye, spoons.”

“But... what do you mean ‘spoons’?”

“I mean spoons.”

Halfway through a very confusing conversation between Jamie and Zoe, the Doctor walks into the room. From Zoe’s face, the Doctor clearly isn’t the only one confused by their conversation.

“You could be a little bit more descriptive, Jamie,” he says, stopping behind Jamie’s wheelchair and placing his hands on his partner’s shoulders.

“How’d you mean?”

“Well, I assume you’re talking about the Spoon Theory. In which case, you need to explain a lot more than just saying the word spoons. After all, remember how confused you were before i explained it to you.” The Doctor smiles, remembering clearly how funny that experience had been.

Zoe frowns, more confused than ever. “What on Earth is the Spoon Theory?”

“It’s a disability metaphor, Zoe,” he says, rubbing his hands together. “The spoons represent your energy. It’s designed for disabled and chronically ill people to explain how they lose their energy differently to abled people. Jamie uses it for his CFS. It sounds bizarre, but it’s actually quite simple when you understand it.” The Doctor stops infodumping and smiles. “Now, does that make sense?”

Zoe smiles. “Yeah, it really does.”


	8. Crowd

Jamie’s wheelchair is a rather useful gadget. Obviously, it’s to move him around when he’s too fatigued and wobbly to walk, but he’s found other uses for it too.

One is that he can carry people on his lap and the chair can move them both. He sometimes does it for fun, but mainly when the Doctor or Zoe sprains an ankle and can’t walk back to the TARDIS. But regardless of the cause, having someone on his lap is great fun, although a wee bit dangerous for them, as they sometimes fall off if he steers the chair too fast.

The other is actually based in discrimination, but it still has it’s uses. People seem to be scared of Jamie’s wheelchair, and so step backwards when he comes past. He hates them for acting all scared of his chair, but at least it means he can clear a quick path through a crowd.

This comes in useful one time when the Doctor is getting stressed and overwhelmed. Jamie knows he needs to get back to the TARDIS before he has a meltdown, so he drives through the crowd, and manages to get his stressed partner back to the TARDIS.


	9. Phone Calls

Yet again, Jamie, Zoe and the Doctor have landed on Earth, but in a time period alien to them all. And, once again, things aren’t exactly going to plan. They’ve already split up with Zoe, but he thinks she’s all right this time; after all, how much trouble can you get into at a fire station? But he’s so used to things going wrong that he’s not remotely bothered anymore.

Jamie sits beside the Doctor as he tinkers with a gadget in a laboratory, bored and achy (as usual).

“Can you call Zoe for me, Jamie?” the Doctor asks.

Jamie looks at the telephone on the wall, and then something occurs to him. “Doctor, how do you use a telephone?”

The Doctor looks up, his eyes widening. And then he sighs, shaking his head. “Sorry, Jamie. I forgot.”

“You forgot I’m not from your time?” Jamie says, but he wheels over to the phone.

“Exactly,” the Doctor says, joining him.

To be honest, they all sometimes forget where they originally came from, what with all three of them living in the TARDIS.

“Right,” the Doctor says, smiling. He claps his hands together. “Let me show you how this thing works.”


	10. Labels

Zoe has never been to a Pride event, but this is just how she imagined it would be. So many people, all bright and happy and covered in flags, showing pride for who they are. And now she, Jamie and the Doctor are going to join in.

His ear defenders clamped over his ears, the Doctor leads Zoe and Jamie to a stall, where they are selling pride flags. Instantly, the Doctor spots a row of hats, and he grins.

“Can I have a genderqueer hat, please?” he says, wringing his hands together. “Can I also get a big asexual badge? Thank you!”

The young woman smiles and they exchange money for the hat and badge. Delighted, the Doctor puts the hat on his head. He turns to Zoe and Jamie and pulls a silly face. They both chuckle, but they aren’t being mean. “What do you two want?”

“A pansexual scarf, please,” Zoe says.

“Are there not any kilts?” Jamie asks.

“I’m afraid not,” the woman says.

Jamie sighs, smiling. “Can I have one of those shirts, please?”

“And a bisexual T-shirt,” the Doctor finishes, grinning.

And then they all head off, covered in flags, ready to enjoy Pride.


	11. Collection

There are hats everywhere in the TARDIS. Hats of all shapes, colours and sizes clutter cupboards and even entire rooms, leaving Zoe wondering how many years it has been since the Doctor last saw some of these hats. Knowing him, it has probably been decades.

 

“Do you think the Doctor has an obsession with hats?” Zoe asks Jamie one day.

“Nah,” Jamie says, shuffling awkwardly in his wheelchair. “Well... maybe a wee one.”

 

Whenever they land on a planet that has shops (and there aren’t any Daleks or similar beings that want to kill them), the Doctor always manages to find a shop that sells hats.

“He’s like one of those sniffer dogs,” Jamie whispers as they follow the Doctor into a very cluttered hat shop.

“Except he doesn’t sniff out contraband at the airport,” Zoe says, grinning. “He sniffs out hats.”

“Aye,” Jamie says, chuckling. “He can smell them a mile off.”

The Doctor hears them, but he doesn’t say anything. He probably takes it as a compliment.

 

One evening, the Doctor opens the wrong door and hats rain down on him.

Jamie nudges Zoe as they rush to help him. “Maybe it is more than a wee obsession.”


	12. Sensory Overload

The Doctor is going into sensory overload. Jamie knows the signs well, how to spot his partner going into distress from their surroundings becoming too much for his sensitive ears and eyes. Unfortunately for them both (because the Doctor hates them and Jamie hates seeing him go through it), the reason he knows how to spot this is because... well, the Doctor has had far too many sensory overloads in the time Jamie has known him.

So when Jamie notices the signs, he knows what to do. He sees the Doctor stood in the corner of the hall, trying to shut himself off from the villagers’ party (they threw it to thank the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe for saving them from an alien attack). His fingertips are pressed against the sides of his head (a subtle attempt to calm rising panic), and his whole body his slightly hunched forwards as though anticipating an attack.

Without even thinking about it, Jamie wheels over and wraps his arms around the Doctor. The Doctor leans against him, his breathing shuddering, and presses his head against Jamie’s shoulder.

And, as he gradually relaxes into Jamie’s tight embrace, Jamie hears him whisper, “Thank you, Jamie.”


	13. Autistic Character

“What’re you reading, Doctor?” Jamie asks, shuffling across the bed so his arm is pressed against the Doctor’s.

The Doctor holds up the very thick book so Jamie can see the cover, but also says, “It’s called _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_. Its book five in a series of books for teenagers from the early 21 st century, but they were always popular with adults too.”

Jamie nods, smiling as the Doctor infodumps. “Aye. What’s it about?”

“It’s a fantasy series about a teenage wizard who basically has to battle this... evil wizard.”

Jamie chuckles. “Wow, thanks for the interesting description.”

The Doctor raises his eyebrows, faking a hurt expression. “I never said I was good at summaries, Jamie.”

Jamie puts his arm around him, leaning their heads together. “So who’s your favourite character?”

“I really like Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood too,” the Doctor says. “I suppose I like them so much because I sort of read them as autistic.”

“Aye?” Jamie says. “Are they like you then?”

“A fair bit. Enough for me to see my autistic traits in them.” He smiles. “I wonder how many autistic children read these books and felt like this too.”


	14. Nonverbal

Sometimes, when his chronic fatigue relapses and he can’t get out of bed without help he’s so exhausted, Jamie struggles to speak. He isn’t sure if it’s the fogginess in his mind (according to the databank’s section on CFS, it’s called brain fog) that’s been annoying him ever since he got ill, or that the muscles in his mouth are just too weak to form words, but something means speech becomes almost impossible.

This would be a major issue for some people, but it isn’t for Jamie. The Doctor goes nonverbal sometimes when he’s tired or stressed or panicked, which means he’s fully prepared if he loses the ability to speak. Which means the Doctor is fluent in several types of sign language, so he can still communicate when his mouth won’t work properly. And he also taught Zoe and Jamie British Sign Language so they can communicate with him when he goes nonverbal. So, of course Jamie has the ability to sign when he can’t speak.

It is so much better than speaking, simply putting his thoughts across with a few movements of his hands. In fact, Jamie sometimes wishes that people could communicate like this all the time.


	15. Stim Toys

The Doctor has a lot of stim toys. Some he’s had for decades, and he occasionally stumbles across ones he thought he’d lost in a rarely used corner of the TARDIS. Others are homemade, strange fiddle toys that he and Jamie and Zoe made out of bits and bobs lying around the TARDIS. But a lot of his stim toys aren’t that old, because the Doctor has a habit of buying them whenever he finds them. In fact, he’s getting quite an impressive collection of stim toys, if he says so himself.

His favourite stim toy is one of the simplest ones. Zoe found it in a toy shop, in a corner well stocked with fidget toys. The Doctor quickly took a shine to it, so he bought it and took it back to the TARDIS with him. it’s called a marble maze, and it’s amazing how soothing a marble, two pieces of soft fabric and some thread can be. So the Doctor never puts it down, manipulating the marble through its fabric maze as he goes about his business, and he’s grateful to this day that Zoe found it, because he sometimes isn’t sure how he’d cope without it.


	16. Autistic Utopia

The Doctor can’t think of many times when he was as relaxed as he is right now. As he lies on a blanket between Jamie and Zoe on a high hilltop, staring up at the night sky, the Doctor feels a rare, but wonderful, sense of tranquillity. In moments like this, when everything is calm and quiet and still and beautiful, all of his worries seem to fade away. Stargazing is one of his favourite things to do, and to do so with his partner and his best friend makes the experience even better.

Beside him, Jamie has fallen asleep, his head resting against the Doctor’s shoulder. But when the Doctor squeezes his hand, he’s sure that Jamie squeezes his back. Letting his exhausted partner sleep, he turns his head and looks at Zoe. She sees him and smiles.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she says. The Doctor can see her breath in the cool air, but none of them feel cold; after all, they’re all wrapped up in lovely fleecy blankets.

The Doctor smiles. “Yes, it is. It’s absolutely beautiful.”

“Look, a comet!” Zoe says, pointing as it shoots across the sky.

And the Doctor falls asleep cuddling with Jamie.


	17. Inspiration

“Have you ever seen something so amazing that you... get inspired to do it too?” Zoe asks.

Jamie looks up as he adjusts the heat pad under his leg. He frowns. “What? How’d you mean?”

For the first time since she came into the room, Jamie notices that Zoe has a stack of books on her lap.

“Well, have you ever heard a piece of music or watched a film or read a book so amazing that it makes you want to do the same thing?” she says.

“All the time,” the Doctor says, coming into the room. He sits down beside Jamie and helps him adjust the heat pad. “Unfortunately for me, I don’t have the talent.”

“You are talented,” Jamie says, a tad indignant. “You’re really clever.”

The Doctor blushes slightly. “Not as clever as Zoe.”

Zoe smiles. “He doesn’t mean it like that, Jamie. He means he isn’t good at writing or making films.”

The Doctor nods. “Exactly. I’m sure I have a few talents—” Jamie goes to say something, but the Doctor carries on speaking “—but creative writing isn’t one of them. But I know what you mean, Zoe. It’s good to get inspired by things.”


	18. Puzzle Pieces

“Why puzzle pieces?”

Even though it’s only Zoe, it still makes the Doctor’s hearts race to hear those words.

He wrings his hands together and sighs. “It comes from the idea that... well, autistic people are supposed to be a mystery. Like a jigsaw with a missing piece.” The Doctor grimaces, starting to manipulate his marble maze. “And if they find the missing piece of the puzzle...”

“Then they might be able to make you ‘normal’?” Jamie says, and the Doctor loves how he makes quote marks in the air with his fingers.

“Exactly.”

“So what you’re saying is that a group of horrible people use a symbol with a horrible meaning behind it?” Zoe says, and the Doctor nods. “That makes sense. They’re disgusting.”

He sighs again. “Tell me about it.”

Jamie picks up the flyer, studying the puzzle pieces all over it. “Can I borrow a pen?”

Jamie takes his marker pen and draws a cross through the puzzle pieces on the flyer. Then Jamie holds it up and smiles.

“Fancy doing some alterations to all the posters outside?”

The Doctor glances at Zoe, and they both grin.

“Come on, then,” he says, tearing the flyer into pieces.


	19. Routine

“Jamie?”

“Mmm...”

“Jamie?”

“Gerroff.”

“Jamie?”

“’M tired.”

“Jamie!”

“What?!”

As the Doctor nudges his shoulder, Jamie finally opens his eyes. The fatigue hits him, and he feels like he never went to bed. A sleepy Doctor looms over him, and Jamie swats his hand away feebly.

He can barely keep his eyes open. He yawns, the sore glands in his jaw shooting stabbing pains through his neck.

“It’s time to get up, Jamie,” the Doctor says.

“Can’t we have a few more hours sleep?” Jamie mutters, pulling the blankets up over his head.

The Doctor pulls the blankets back down, sighing. “No, we can’t, Jamie.”

He knows the Doctor means well, but Jamie still groans. This happens every single morning in the TARDIS, the Doctor trying to get Jamie up for the day and Jamie wanting to go back to sleep. And, every morning, they go through this same routine.

“I know how tired you are, Jamie, but it does us both good to get up and go to sleep and the same time every day,” the Doctor says, smiling weakly.

“Aye, I know,” Jamie says, squeezing his hand. “Just give me a minute.”

The Doctor gives him a kiss.


	20. Animal or Pet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of the Tumblr conversation that Zoe and the Doctor mention in this chapter:
> 
> http://strangerdarkerbetter.tumblr.com/post/162952678267/meet-autisticat-ive-been-seeing-a-lot-of

“You know about how you said that being autistic is like being a cat in a world full of dogs?” Zoe says, fiddling with a spare fidget spinner that the Doctor gave to her.

He nods, remembering that conversation. It was back when the Doctor first told Zoe about his autism, and he kept trying to come up with different ways to explain what it’s like to be autistic. Similar to his later discussion about different disability metaphors with Jamie (they eventually settled with the Spoon Theory), there were many confusing conversations that descended into laughter. Although the Doctor is rather proud of his ‘cat in a dog’s world’ analogy (even though someone else probably thought of it long before he did).

“Well, what do you think about cats acting quite... quite autistic?” she says, and Zoe shows the Doctor a lot of blog posts from the 21st century about cats having autistic traits. The conversation ends with the bloggers making an icon called Autisticat, and the Doctor grins.

“I agree,” he says. “Cats are autistic, aren’t they?”

“What the hell are you going on about?” Jamie says, wheeling into the room.

The Doctor starts laughing. “You explain, Zoe.”


	21. Honesty

“So, why are we doing this, again?” Jamie asks.

“Because we’re bored and there’s nothing better to do,” Zoe says, taking another sip of her lemonade.

“Yes, that’s the problem with having a holiday on a remote planet with no electricity,” the Doctor says from the other side of the room, carefully lighting a candle. “You get the peace and tranquillity that you could never get in the TARDIS—”

“But you get bored stiff when it gets too dark to read and there’s nothing else to do,” Jamie says, understanding them both perfectly.

“Exactly,” the Doctor says. He sits back down beside Jamie and holds his hand, interlocking their fingers.

Jamie smiles. “Fair enough. You can go first, Doctor.”

“Truth or dare?” Zoe asks.

“Hmm...” he says, deliberating. “I’ll pick truth.”

Jamie glances at Zoe and they both grin. “Who do you like more?”

The Doctor’s face falls, but then he frowns. “Did you just deliberately ask me a really hard question?”

“That is the point of the game, Doctor,” Zoe says.

The Doctor looks between them both, and then he smiles.

“Well, I’ll put it like this: you’re both equally annoying.”

And then all three of them start laughing.


	22. Favourite Place

“Where’s Zoe?” Jamie asks, zooming into the room with his wheelchair at top speed. He stops abruptly to stop himself crashing into the wall, and jolts forwards in his seat.

The Doctor watches this happen, and smiles. “Please, Jamie, be considerate of the other road users.”

“Daftie,” Jamie says, grinning. “So, where’s Zoe?”

“In the library,” the Doctor says, putting his hands on Jamie’s shoulders. Jamie leans his head back against the Doctor’s abdomen. “Where else would she be?”

“Aye, course she is,” he says, smacking the palm of his hand against his forehead. “Brain fog strikes again.”

Because he should have remembered that Zoe is always in the TARDIS library. Just like the Doctor, she spends a large amount of her time in there, reading book after book. He’ll never understand why the pair like to read so much, but he’s glad they enjoy themselves.

Jamie shakes his head and the Doctor smiles fondly.

“Why do you need to find her?” the Doctor asks.

“She lost her bracelet earlier. I was gonna tell her I’ve found it.”

“That’s good,” the Doctor says, smiling. “Let’s go and find her.”

And they head off to locate Zoe in the TARDIS library.


	23. Happiness

Happiness to Zoe is travelling throughout the universe with her two best friends and having lots of adventures. It’s switching on the view screen whenever the TARDIS materialises and the excitement of seeing where they are now. It’s doing maths problems and knowing she’s as clever as a Time Lord. It’s sharing the Doctor’s passion for hating annoying computers. It’s the way her heart flutters when Isobel Watkins wants her to be her model. Happiness is just... living such a fulfilling and exciting life.

 

Happiness to Jamie is waking up beside the Doctor every morning and seeing his beautiful face. It’s holding hands and cuddles and kisses with the Doctor. Its remission days when his chronic fatigue eases and he can get around with a walking stick and he doesn’t ache nearly as much. It’s seeing the Doctor stim and loving that he can be himself. It’s spending all his time with his two favourite people in the world.

 

Happiness to the Doctor is self acceptance and learning to love his Neurodiversity. It’s rocking and flapping and playing his recorder. It’s kissing Jamie and hugging Zoe. Happiness is being with people who love and accept him for who he is.


	24. Support

Zoe is a very clever young woman. She knows that, but it doesn’t make her arrogant. Jamie likes that about her. He also likes how kind she is, always up for helping the Doctor after a meltdown or supporting Jamie when he has a relapse and feels dreadful. She puts everyone before herself, always happy to help anyone. Basically, Zoe is a lovely person.

One time, the three of them have landed on Earth in the 2040s, and everything is going a bit wrong. The Doctor, stressed from a sensory overload, has gone nonverbal, and has his noise cancelling headphones clamped over his ears as his hands flap and flap. And Jamie is exhausted after being out for so long that he can barely stay awake, his head lolling and his whole body aching as he slumps in his wheelchair. And they both just want to go back the TARDIS, but it’s too busy and they can’t seem to get there.

And so Zoe, their wonderful friend, stands up to her full height and says, her voice loud and firm, “Can everyone move out of our way, please!”

And as the crowd parts, Jamie takes her hand and squeezes it.


	25. Freebie

“What are you two doing?” the Doctor asks, walking into the room to find Jamie lying on his stomach on the floor with Zoe kneeling on his back. “What are you doing to Jamie, Zoe?”

Zoe looks up at him and smiles sheepishly. “Hello, Doctor.”

The Doctor wrings his hands together. “Seriously, though, what are you doing?”

“I’m giving him a massage,” Zoe says.

Jamie raises his head, propping his chin on his hand. “Aye, she is. I’ve got horrible backache.”

The Doctor understands. Jamie’s chronic fatigue syndrome means he gets horribly achy muscles most of the time. Some days, however, are worse than others.

“The heat pack wasn’t working, so we thought we’d try giving Jamie a massage instead,” Zoe explains.

“I see,” the Doctor says, clasping his hands together. “But why are you actually on his back? Doesn’t that hurt?”

“Nah, the pressure’s actually quite soothing,” Jamie says. “I think it’s like you with your pressure stimming.”

“And this is the easiest position for both of us to be in for me to do the massage,” Zoe says. “Though it does look a bit weird.”

The Doctor smiles. “Well then, by all means carry on. See you later.”


	26. Echolalia

Sometimes, the Doctor repeats words other people say. Maybe because he finds it funny or he likes the way the words sound when he says them, but he does it quite a lot. Some people would probably find it annoying, but Jamie just finds it sweet.

 

* * *

 

“Doctor?” Jamie asks in bed one night. “Why do you do that... repeating words thing?”

As in the Zoe Heriot thing?” the Doctor says, referring to this morning, when he couldn’t stop saying Zoe’s name.

“Yeah, that,” he says. “What’s it about? Is it an autism thing?”

The Doctor nods. “It’s called echolalia. My brain sort of does it automatically. Is it annoying?”

“Of course not,” Jamie says, putting his arm around the Doctor. “It’s great.”

 

* * *

 

“I’ve found it, Jamie!” Zoe yells, running into the room.

“Found what?” the Doctor says, following her with a puzzled look on his face.

“My sporran,” Jamie says, taking it from Zoe. “I lost it. Thanks, Zoe.”

“I still can’t believe you lost it,” Zoe says, laughing.

“You’d be surprised. With my brain fog, well...”

“Sporran,” the Doctor says, smiling. “Sporran. Sporran.”

Zoe looks at them both and starts laughing. “You know what. It isn’t surprising at all.”


	27. Colour

“Doctor, what are you wearing?” Jamie says, wheeling into the room to find the Doctor wearing a bright pink kilt... no, wait... it’s actually a skirt. “Why’re you wearing a skirt?”

“I felt like it,” the Doctor says. He does a twirl and Zoe claps her hands in appreciation.

“And you wear one too, Jamie,” Zoe says, gesturing towards Jamie’s kilt (ever since he started using the wheelchair, he’s had to start wearing underpants underneath it, but he still wears his kilt).

“It’s not a skirt!” Jamie cries. “It’s a kilt.”

“She’s just joking, Jamie,” the Doctor says, patting Jamie’s shoulder. “Don’t wind Jamie up, Zoe.”

“Yeah!” Jamie says, pulling a face at Zoe. She raises her eyebrows and grins.

“Anyway...” the Doctor says. “I just felt like wearing a skirt. And I found one in the cupboard somewhere and I just thought ‘why not?’ so I put it on.”

“But why is it pink?”

The Doctor shrugs. “I don’t know. I can’t even remember where I got it.” He twirls again. “Does it suit me?”

Jamie smiles. It’s a wee bit weird to see the Doctor in a skirt, but it does seem to suit him. “Aye, it does.”


	28. Empathy

The Doctor is very empathetic. The whole idea of empathy is rather confusing, but the Doctor knows that he has a lot of empathy, almost too much. He supposes he’s a person with high empathy.

It is good to feel in synch with other people’s emotions (because it helps him comfort them when they’re upset or scared), but feeling empathy so strongly can be rather annoying at times.

It means that he struggles to watch certain television programmes or films, because the second-hand embarrassment he can get from watching character get humiliated is almost unbearable, and he has to turn it off as he flaps his hands to calm himself down.

It also means that if someone starts crying then the Doctor will too, even if he has never met them before or they’re a character on the TV (another reason to avoid watching television). So when Zoe gets injured and starts sobbing from the pain, the Doctor tries to patch her up with tears running down his face. Or when something sad happens in a film, he starts crying into Jamie’s chest.

So, yes, he likes having empathy… but he’d like to watch just one sad film with sobbing.


	29. Overthinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during an AU in which Isobel travels with the Doctor, Jamie and Zoe.

“Where are they?” the Doctor says, more to himself than Isobel, his feet scuffing against the ground as he walks along the dusty path. His hands wring together, and he seems clumsier than usual; basically, it is obvious just from looking at him that the Doctor is very stressed.

“I don’t know,” Isobel says, looking back at the map. “They could be anywhere. They were supposed to meet us here, but…”

“They aren’t here.”

“Yeah,” she says. “Do you think they’re lost?”

“I think they are,” the Doctor says. “What could have happened to them, Isobel?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I just think they might’ve taken a wrong path and got themselves lost. I mean, we get lost all the time, don’t we?”

“Yes, but not on a planet crawling with Cybermen, Isobel. I hope they’re all right. What if Jamie’s wheelchair has broken, or Zoe has injured herself? What if they’ve been caught? What if…?”

The Doctor is off again, rambling about worst case scenarios as he stands beside Isobel, his hands wringing and his face tense. Isobel sighs and puts her hands on his shoulders.

“I think they’re fine, Doctor,” she says, smiling reassuringly. “It’s all right.”


	30. Neurotypical

Jamie will never be able to understand why people think Neurodiversity is a bad thing. But he can’t see why people think liking who you are is a bad thing. The Doctor is Neurodivergent, and he likes himself for who he is, and Jamie loves him too, and why can’t he? The Doctor is Neurodivergent, and there’s no way any of them are hiding that.

Because that’s who he is. The Doctor is autistic and mentally ill and dyspraxic, and he’s a wonderful partner and the best friend Jamie has ever had. And none of those things take away from his wonderful personality. They are part of him, just like his sexuality and gender and every other think that makes up who he is. There isn’t anything wrong with him, just layers and layers of traits and likes and disabilities and identities that all add together to make the Doctor.

There is nothing wrong with him. The Doctor should never have to hide who he really is ever again. They’re open about everything and Jamie knows the Doctor is finally starting to accept himself and love himself for who he really is.

And Jamie loves him too, so very much.


End file.
